to do list:

I've been in this weird funk where I only get things done if I write them on a list of some sort. I've always been a list-maker, but I have always been able to get things accomplished that were not on the list as well. Oh well, I'll go with the flow.
My to do list:

Make new duvet cover. And pillows.

Buy a new bedskirt.

Change the sheets on my bed.


Buy brackets for a shelf.

Finish painting the shelf.

Hang the shelf. And decorate it.

Gather all the stuff that needs to go to storage.

Take a trip to my parents house to store my crap in their basement.

Sort the crap already stored there and give some to DI.

Vacuum.

Laundry: whites, colors, jeans, towels, and bedding.

Fold and put away all that laundry.

Make a menu and a shopping list.

Go grocery shopping.

Make new jewelry items for my Etsy shop.

Buy protective film.

Cut protective film to fit the viewing screen on my new camera.

Read the new camera manual.

Take photos.

Find a good weight-training DVD. Any suggestions??

Catch up on Bones and Office. Maybe just Bones. Office is lacking this season.

Scrapbook. Nothing specific. Just to prove to myself that I'm still capable.

Send the cards I started making in January.

Sand and stain the tray for my bedroom table.

Buy a new pair of pants... I ripped my favorites on Monday :(

Do something bold and courageous. Very non-specific, I know.

Find a way to be of service to someone.

Get my ass to church. Yeah, I see the irony in "ass" and "church" being in the same sentence. Just proof how badly I need it.

Wash walls, windows, and baseboards.

Sort toys in the toy drawer.

Maybe go to a movie. Because I never do.

Research painting and distressing techniques.

Get laid. You know, just in case I forget to add this to the appropriate list at the appropriate time (and because my coworker stood over me and said "add get laid to your list").

Buy paint to change up an accent table.

Impulsively buy and assemble a new accent chair.

Sort and organize my huge bead stash.

Buy new towels for the bathroom.

Go to the post office.

Mail rent check.


Plan menu for Jen's birthday party this weekend.

Pick 3 books for the book club.

Buy Jen flowers as a favor to Steven.

Take a much-needed nap!

Think of other things to add to this list. LOL

wallflower

My mom once told me of an experience she has while she was expecting me. Someone asked her what I would be named and she replied; "Emily." The person asking said; "Oh don't name her Emily. Emily's tend to be wallflowers." My mom thought; "No child of mine will ever be a wallflower, so I'll name her Emily anyway."

As it turns out, I'm a wallflower.

I remember being very shy as a child. Sometimes ridiculously so. It didn't help that we moved a lot (21 times in 21 years!)which made it hard to find the motivation to "invest" in a relationship, knowing we'd be moving again soon. I focused on being friends with my family (and my siblings are still my 3 very best friends!). I have always gotten along well with people, I'm just slow to let them in.

Several years ago, I had a lot of friends. I was social and busy with "social activities" 5 or so days a week. Someone commented that I was a "social butterfly," which was the weirdest term I'd ever heard used to describe ME. It was fun and I was happy. I'm not sure how I went from "wallflower" to "social butterfly" in a matter of months, but it was fulfilling in a very new way.

I then had an experience that resulted in a loss of all trust. I pulled away from everyone. I completely withdrew and quickly built walls all around myself. It was the only way I knew to protect myself from being hurt again.

Last week, I realized it has been four years since I had that experience. I have long since forgiven those that hurt me and I've repaired my relationships with them. In fact, we're close friends again. However, I still have walls all around me and I honestly have no idea how to tear them down.

Don't worry, I DO have great friends, I just don't ever do anything. I want to break out of my hermit shell a couple times a week. And I want to find ways to let others in more easily. The life I want for myself is not the one I'm living and the only way I can get there is to break those walls down.

never fear...

I'm still here. I've just been sick with a nasty cold. It's making the rounds at work and starts with "Man, my throat hurts!" Those very words came from my mouth Sunday afternoon and by Monday morning, I was MISERABLE. I took a day off and slept until every part of my body hurt. Oh, and Dayquil makes me so sick.

Anyway, I'm starting to feel a little better. I've got several fun little projects going, which I will share pictures of soon because they're more interesting than hearing about my latest illness. lol